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Self Love and Valuing yourself : The beginners guide

Today I want to share with you how to begin your journey to knowing your worth

I’ve still got a long way to go with valuing myself but with the work I’ve done so far I can already feel and see how beneficial it is for not only myself but the people around me too

This guide is going to be the place to get you started on knowing your worth and celebrating yourself! Because why not? - we have been conditioned to think that praising ourselves or practicing self love is boasting and leaves us thinking we aren’t enough. It’s time to change this stigma and celebrate - big AND small

What is self love?

Self love means to have a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. It’s about cultivating a deep relationship with you. Self love is about taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing yourself for others. It’s important to fill our own cup first and improve on yesterday's self. At the end of the day the longest relationship you’ll have is with yourself so why not make it a pleasant one!

So now we know what self love is. How exactly do you begin to start valuing yourself?

Like most things, for change to start taking place we must first make space. Releasing past and future anxiety inducing thoughts can be an act of self love, to fully begin to tune into your truest self and most aligned you.

Think of the times you were most happy, carefree and full of joy - those memories are probably from when you were fully present and in the moment. List these moments down to practice gratitude towards your joyful memories

To make peace with your past we must accept, gain awareness and learn to reframe these experiences from feeling wrong to what lesson did they actually teach us?

And for our future anxieties we can minimise these feelings by thinking about how we want to create our future, albeit unattached to the outcome.

Now that you’ve made space with your past and future thoughts, the next area of self love is about honouring our commitments to ourselves

When we make commitments to ourselves, we immediately put the expectation on ourselves to complete these promises. However when we don’t our confidence gets knocked.

Often as women we tend to set ourselves large unrealistic commitments, which as a result we often ‘fail’ to complete them. So as an act of self love I suggest you practice the ‘licking your toads’ method by Kevin N lawrence.

In his book Your oxygen mask first he talks about the five different techniques for licking your toads. What are toads you ask? Toads are the little things you procrastinate and as a result end up consuming far more energy than you believe.

Common toads are:

  1. Booking vacations and taking time to recharge

  2. Doing your will

  3. Working on personal relationships


So lick your toads to free up time and energy for bigger and better things

Kevin's five different techniques are:


  1. Do it. Bite the bullet immediately.

  2. Don’t do it. Say ‘no’ to the person who requested it, if it’s simply not yours to do.

  3. Delegate it. Assign an appropriate person.

  4. Delete it. Let go of it entirely. Decide it’s not going to happen.

  5. Date it. Commit to completing it by a specific date sometime down the road.

He suggests ideally licking a nasty toad first thing each day so that all the clutter and burden doesn’t build up. Start with the nastiest of them all

I don’t want to overwhelm you, so I think these two key tools to practising self love are a good place to start, they will not only give you confidence and value in yourself but also a place for you to start taking action.

Good luck and remember, fill your own cup first!


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